Magic is real sometimes. Not the abracadabra kind, but the little moments of mystical divinity that show up in our little world, if we stop to notice. This type of magic can be seen all the time when observing the natural world. Trees. Mushrooms. A flower blooming alone. Animals, like coral larvae, enchant us by showing us how they select their optimal environment for successful growth. Nature is always speaking and teaching, giving us spiritual messages and universal truths.
Animals consistently show up at just the right time in our lives to move us a little further on our healing journey. Many cultures throughout history and the present day believe that animals and nature are spiritual teachers. Even Jesus thought so and consistently used animals and nature to teach his followers lessons.
For example:
The Parable of the Lost Sheep (Luke 15:3-7): In this parable, Jesus compares the Divine’s love for humanity to a shepherd who leaves the ninety-nine sheep to search for the one lost sheep, emphasizing the importance of each individual and the Divine’s relentless pursuit of those who are lost.
The Parable of the Mustard Seed (Matthew 13:31-32): Jesus compares the kingdom of heaven to a mustard seed, which is one of the smallest seeds but grows into a large tree where birds can perch in its branches. This illustrates how something seemingly insignificant can have a significant impact and how the kingdom of the Divine welcomes and shelters all.
The Parable of the Birds of the Air and the Lilies of the Field (Matthew 6:25-34): Jesus teaches about trust in the Divine’s provision by pointing to the birds of the air and the lilies of the field, which do not worry about their food or clothing, yet are cared for by the Divine. He encourages his followers to seek first the kingdom of the Divine and trust in the Divine's provision.
Recently, coral reef larvae crossed my path at just the right time to teach me a spiritual lesson. Maybe this lesson is for you, too.
Imagine a vibrant coral reef, colorful and thriving in an underwater symphony. These reefs, much like healthy human communities, pulsate with energy and vitality, nurturing life and growth. However, just as coral reefs can become degraded and unhealthy, human communities can also. Both can lose their ability to nourish life and become environments where thriving is impossible. Yet, both humans and coral reef larvae need communities for survival. Scientists at the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution have recently made an intriguing discovery that reveals a surprising similarity between coral larvae and our human desire for connection. This discovery may also aid in our understanding of how to identify a healthy community.
What can we learn from coral larvae?
How do we find a healthy community?
A problem that is affecting more and more of us on the healing journey, is finding a positive community. We know the consequences of being part of an unhealthy community, we’ve been there, and done that. We cannot afford to risk our progress or repeat toxic dramas by going back to such places.
So, we don’t. We stay at home, fearful and hesitant in forming new connections. Yet, finding a positive community might be the next step in our healing process, since experts agree that humans need community.
This is especially hard for those of us who have left religion. Our foundational community failed us and hurt us. We are traumatized and are on lifelong travels unraveling the twisted knots of indoctrination hard-wired in our brains. To make matters worse, our trauma might attract us to other harmful communities after we leave the church, doubling or tripling our resistance to join another one.
When dysfunction is normal to you, more dysfunction you’ll attract.
This is exactly what happened to me before finding the deconstruction community. I left the church and joined the bar. As it turns out, they have a lot of similarities.
I tried to fit in and establish roots in both the church and the bar. Fortunately, I was unsuccessful in both endeavors. I noticed the same harmful patterns and characteristics in the bar as in the church. I realized that the community was unsafe, and I knew that eventually, I would have to leave it, just like I left the church. Despite my predictive pattern recognition causing me to keep walls up, I still got hurt, and it was a heart-wrenching experience to walk away.
It can be difficult to leave a community, even if it is unhealthy. Not everyone in that community is unsafe. I had to say goodbye to people I loved in both communities, but ultimately I knew it was time for me to move on. I wasn't thriving.
I believe our bodies know before our mind does if we are in an unhealthy community, job, friendship, or relationship. We can feel when our survival is threatened well before we can accept it and walk away. Too many factors rooted in ego confuse us. We want to be accepted, well-liked, and feel like we belong. In the church, there are eternal consequences in leaving, which makes it even more difficult to leave. If we decide to leave a job, there are financial consequences. Those are powerful motivators that might override our instincts about a friendship, job, relationship, and/or community.
For example, as a little girl in church, I found many hymns to be scary. Whether it was the tune or the words, something about them made me feel very uncomfortable. My body rejected the sounds. When I shared my feelings with others, they didn't understand. I didn’t either, I simply knew that these songs freaked me out.
Looking back, I realize that my body was responding to the dark undertones of indoctrination present in the music. This is the same reason why hearing children reciting the pledge of allegiance at school gives me the creeps; it feels like a form of brainwashing. The lyrics of these hymns were also a factor in my discomfort. They revealed self-loathing beliefs and dark subjects rooted in a so-called "holy truth" without evidence.
I also witnessed gossip, learned racist rhetoric such as “the curse of Ham” and heard a targeted campaign against LBGTQ people. All of which let me know that love was conditional there and this place wasn’t safe. I learned very quickly to be something other than me. It's not surprising that I never wanted to go on Sunday morning.
My body knew it wasn’t a place where I could establish roots. How could anyone thrive among gossip, racist rhetoric, and bigotry? How could I blossom in an environment where I had to be something else? How would I possibly thrive by shutting down my authentic self?
I felt the same way at the bar. I had to be something different. Every day I tried to figure out what it was I was supposed to be to fit in. This was difficult to figure out because it seemed like nobody there liked anyone else there. The gossip flowed like melting glaciers but so did the niceties and every day another friend backstabbing their bestie. And I heard it all. Sometimes I’d join in on the gossip, it becomes contagious and addicting. It didn’t take long for me to realize that the bar community was unsafe and I didn’t like who I was becoming there. I knew I had to leave. I knew I couldn’t establish roots. I knew I wasn’t thriving, I was merely surviving.
So, back to the original questions:
What can we learn from coral larvae?
How do we find a healthy community?
Scientists from the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution recently discovered that coral larvae are attracted to the sounds of a healthy, thriving reef, and that is how they decide where to settle and grow. New research conducted in the US Virgin Islands found that broadcasting underwater sounds of a healthy reef near a degraded reef, resulted in coral larvae settling up to 7 times more often in areas with the enriched sound environment! This exciting research may hold the key to saving our reefs. And maybe it holds the key for humans in finding a healthy community.
The Lesson
The coral larvae choose to settle and grow in a healthy, thriving reef. This research is tricking it by using the sounds of a healthy reef, yet, the lesson remains true. The larvae choose to settle in a healthy community and do not choose a degraded community. It knows it will not thrive in the degraded community.
We know as well. We know where we will thrive and where we won’t thrive. Follow your instincts. Remain observant. Listen to the sounds and how your body reacts to them. Find communities rooted in kindness, not only to others but to self too. If a community is full of people being unkind to their bodies, that is an unhealthy place. If a community is full of people tearing others down, don’t settle there, you won’t grow. Pay attention to your nervous system and how you feel while spending time in the community. Discover the coping mechanisms of the community, are they toxic?
Your body knows. It will lead you away from degraded environments and will guide you to thriving human reefs.
Are you able to thrive in your current environment? Is it safe to establish roots?
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